Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Writing wedding vows is harder than it looks. Here are our tips for making it as painless a process as possible.

Get a head start.

If you know you’re going to be writing your own vows, start as early as possible. You may go through several drafts and lots of procrastination, so give yourself plenty of wiggle room.

Talk to your fiance about it.

While your full vows should be kept secret for the actual wedding day, it’s worth talking about the styles you want to incorporate with your fiance. In particular, think about what promises you want to make for each other, whether you want the vows to be more romantic or light-hearted, or who gets dibs on which story to tell.

Make a list.

In early drafts of your vows, don’t worry about making them sound too polished. Just make lists of everything you want your partner to know. You can worry about getting them into coherent sentences later.

Questions to ask if you get stuck.

• Why did you decide to get married?
• What did you think when you first saw your partner?
• How do you know you are in love? When did you realize it?
• How has your relationship changed you?
• Have you gone through any hard times together? How did you get through them?
• What makes your relationship work?

Read other vows for examples.

If you get stuck, turn to other vows for examples. There are plenty of vows posted online, or ask a friend who has written their own vows for help.

Don’t rush it.

Wedding vows are extremely personal and should be treated as such. That means they take time and patience. Don’t feel obliged to get it all done in one sitting. Treat your vows with care; come back to them again and again until you’re sure they say exactly what you want them to.