7 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before You Get Engaged

Everybody has a different opinion on how long you should be together before you get engaged. The general consensus, although it may vary by exact year count, is that you should know one another pretty well.

But even if you’ve been dating for a year or two, there are important questions you might not think to ask your partner before you get married. Here are seven important things to address in your relationship before taking the plunge:

Have you met the family?

Our families affect us in ways we may not even be aware of. Meeting the family is important not only because your partners’ parents’ marriage will affect the way they act in yours, but also to make sure you’re okay having these people as in-laws for the rest of your life.

How are they with money?

A wedding comes and goes in a day, but a marriage is forever. And in a marriage, it’s important to know how your partner views their finances. If you’ve already been living together for a while, this may not be as much of an issue. But whether you’re a spender or a saver, having an open and honest talk with your partner about finances will save you grief down the road.

Have you been honest with each other about past relationships?

Hopefully your partner already knows everything about your past relationships by the time you get engaged. But if not, now is the time to tell. Skeletons in the closet or hang-ups from exes can come out in strange ways. You want it all out in the open before you get married.

Where do you stand spiritually and religiously?

This is less important to some couples than to others, but it’s still a good conversation to have. Especially if it comes to children down the line, you want to know what your partner’s expectations and plans are. They might want their children to be baptised, and need to know where you stand on that. Don’t assume that your partner will go along with whatever you want or vice versa - have a conversation.

What do you expect from each other?

Having a conversation about your expectations of your partner in marriage will not only help your married life start out on the right foot, it will also make you experts at communicating well. You may have different goals or ideals, and talking about them will set you up for success.

What are your challenges?

Everybody has issues from something that happened in the past. Being able to identify your partner’s, and knowing when to back off or jump in and help, will help you achieve wedded bliss. It’s important not to come into this conversation pointing fingers. You’re trying to get a better sense of how your own shortcomings will work with your partner’s - not demand a change.

Do you have your own life?

A great thing about getting married is sharing your life with someone you love. But it’s straight up unhealthy to do everything together all the time. Make sure you can survive some space from your partner. Hopefully, it reminds you why you love them so much in the first place.

September 2019

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