Wedding Invitation Etiquette: When to Send and How to Address Invites Properly

• Etiquette Actually Matters When You Send Out Wedding Invitations
• When to Send Wedding Invitations: A Complete Timeline
• How to Address Wedding Invitations Correctly
• Naming Conventions: How to Address Wedding Invitations Traditionally
• Wedding Invitation Wording Guidelines
• RSVP Etiquette and Management
• Save the Date vs Wedding Invitation Timing
• Destination Wedding Invitation Guidelines

How to Address Wedding Invitations Correctly

We've seen too many wrongly spelled and poorly presented wedding invitations and envelopes over the years, and we've witnessed the effect it has on guests. Of course, many loved ones will pass an error off as a silly mistake or won't mind too much. But some will get offended by a wrongly addressed invitation, or in the worst-case scenario, they might not even receive it due to incorrect envelope information.

Following proper wedding invite etiquette and not rushing the checking process will help avoid these common mistakes when sending out wedding stationery.

Naming Conventions: How to Address Wedding Invitations Traditionally

We have outlined the traditional way to address guests on the outer and inner envelopes below.

For Married Couples

If a married couple has the same last name, they should be addressed as such.

Outer Envelope

Mr. and Mrs. David Mitchell, or Mr. David Mitchell and Mrs. Lucy Mitchell.

Inner Envelope

Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell or David and Lucy

For Married Couples with Different Last Names

Outer Envelope

Ms. Holly Shaw and Mr. Barry Patel

Inner Envelope

Holly and Barry, or Ms. Holly Shaw and Mr. Barry Patel

For Same-Sex Couples

Order the names as you prefer, either by your closeness to one of them or simply alphabetically.

Unmarried Couples

Use the same conventions as married couples with different last names.

Guests with a Plus One

If you know the name of the guest, use it, and address the pair as you would an unmarried couple. If not, simply address the outer envelope to your invited guest and add 'guest' to the inner envelope - Miss. Tara Esteves and guest. Guest should be written in lowercase.

Guests with Children

Guests with invited children can be referred to as 'The Wakowski Family,' and the names of all family members (including kids) can be featured on the inner envelope. If children are not invited, simply address the envelope according to the conventions above.

Create your invitations

Wedding Invitation Wording Guidelines

The wording you use on your wedding invitation and website should reflect the type of celebration you're hosting. For instance, if you're throwing a backyard BBQ wedding for 50 people, you can reflect the casualness of the occasion in your wording. On the other hand, a black-tie ballroom affair requires a little more gravitas and sophistication.

If you'd like guests to really get a feel for your wedding day upon opening your invite, here are some tips.

• Traditionally, the hosts of the wedding are listed first on an invitation. Typically, these would have been the bride's parents. Nowadays couples tend to host their wedding, but if you'd like the invite to still nod to your family, write 'Together with their families' next to your names.
• Include your middle names when hosting a formal wedding.
• The wedding date and time should be written out in full for a formal occasion, with no numbers used. For example, 'Saturday, the tenth of June, two thousand and twenty-six, at four o'clock in the afternoon.'
• Do not include registry information in your wedding invitation suite. It's considered impolite to request gifts within an invitation; use your wedding website instead. Sharing registry information online is a lot more practical, as you can link directly to the site you are using, or multiple sites.
• The wedding ceremony location and reception venue (if different) should have full addresses, especially if marrying somewhere not well known.

Need help with your invitation design? Visit our design and templates guide.

RSVP Etiquette and Management

We often speak to couples who dismiss the reply card as a formality and don't pay it the respect it deserves. But you will find that an RSVP and the information it gathers is critical in helping you budget the event, set up a seating chart, and get catering planned accurately.

Our experience has shown us how important RSVP cards are, which is why we have put so much love into creating our online version! Our free online RSVP app helps you request as much information as you like from your guests, enables you to ask specific questions to specific guests, and automatically stores all the information in a super useful connected guest list. You can even set a definitive RSVP deadline, which'll turn off the ability for guests to reply after a certain date.

Whether you're opting to use a digital RSVP such as ours or sending a physical insert card, there are certain etiquette guidelines you should follow.

• The RSVP deadline should be no less than 3 weeks before the wedding. 4 weeks is ideal.
• Take the harshness out of the deadline request by adding 'We ask that you kindly reply by...' instead of simply, 'Reply by...'. Guests are generally more likely to reply on time if treated politely!
• Your catering team will benefit from having as much guest information as possible. Our digital RSVP makes it easy for guests to select meal choices, share dietary restrictions, and make requests.
• Keep track of the information provided and organize it effectively. Our RSVP app seamlessly connects with our guest list tool.
• You likely know the guests who won't reply on time, so nudge them before the deadline.

Save the Date vs Wedding Invitation Timing

You could consider save-the-dates to be a little like a heads-up. In contrast, your invitation should be viewed as an official request for your guests to join you. These two different types of invites need to be sent out at entirely different times.

Save the Date

If you're hosting a destination wedding, it's wise to send out save-the-dates between 9 and 12 months before the big day. For domestic celebrations, between 6 and 8 months would suffice.

Wedding Invitation

Again, you need to send invitations earlier for a destination wedding, around 10–12 weeks before the trip. Invitations can be sent 6–8 weeks before the wedding for celebrations close to home.

Preparing a save-the-date 8 months before the wedding day may seem a little daunting, as at that point you likely won't have a clear idea of the finer details of the day. But at this early stage, you only need to share your name, wedding date, and wedding location. If you want to be really smart, or if you'd rather not send an invitation suite, you could also include your wedding website URL. That way guests can find out more information about your day as it's evolves.

Looking for budget-friendly invitation options? Check out our affordable invitations guide.

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Destination Wedding Invitation Guidelines

We always dreamed of hosting our wedding on a sandy beach somewhere exotic, but alas, it wasn't meant to be! But if you're lucky enough to be jetting off with your family and friends somewhere stunning, there are a few extra things you need to include in your invite and wedding website.

Travel & Accommodation

Give guests a detailed itinerary that lays out where they'll be staying, how they'll be getting around, and whether they need special visas or vaccinations for the trip.

Registry Information

Remember that your wedding guests are taking time off and spending money to be with you. So be considerate when planning your registry. Lower the cost of registry items, provide an option to forgo the registry completely, or recommend making donations to the wedding instead.

A Firm & Early RSVP

We would recommend setting a destination wedding RSVP deadline earlier than for a domestic celebration to ensure final headcounts can be given to hotels, wedding planner and travel companies on time.

Specific RSVP Events

Destination weddings often involve plenty of smaller events around the big day itself. Each event is typically hosted with a different crowd in mind. Use a digital RSVP, such as ours, to selectively invite certain people to particular events. That way there's no confusion or upset.

Mastering wedding invite etiquette doesn't have to be complicated. You just need to follow a few simple rules and equip yourself with some essential wedding planning tools. Our wedding website builder offers all the services you could need, all in one place, for free. From trackable RSVPs to online guest lists and a QR code generator to our many wedding website templates!

Start building your wedding website today and take the stress out of wedding invitation etiquette, leaving you free to focus on celebrating the big day itself!