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RSVP Etiquette: Do You Know How to Respond to an RSVP?
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How to RSVP to a Wedding
Speaking from our experience, the wait for guests to mail back their invitation or RSVP online is a tense one. Every possibility goes through your head as the days slip by, wondering whether loved ones will respond, and if they're able to attend. For guests, there's a lot less pressure! Which is why it's important to answer any wedding invitation as soon as you can, and lessen the stress your engaged friend or family member is feeling. You never know, the faster you reply, the better your seat at the wedding might be!
If you're currently struggling with the process of replying to an RSVP, we've put together a few handy tips below that should help you out.
What Does RSVP Mean?
You've undoubtably seen the abbreviation RSVP hundreds of times, and be forgiven for not actually knowing what it means or stands for. To put it simply, RSVP means 'respond please'. But the acronym, or abbreviation, actually stands for 'répondez, s’il vous plaît' in French. Which makes sense because we'd all be writing 'RP' on our invites if the abbreviation was for an English phrase, rather than a French phrase!
The point of including an RSVP request on a formal invitation, or email, is to encourage guests to respond as soon as possible. To let the host know that you're available for the event. Be it a wedding, bat mitzvah, baby shower, or in this case, a wedding. It's important to respond to an RSVP in a timely manner as the hosts need to know fairly early in the event planning process the number of guests who'll be attending. As the final headcount will dictate many arrangements they'll have made with vendors and the venue. Plus, they need time to ensure you and your plus one are seated in the best position possible.
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How to RSVP via Email
The key to getting any RSVP response right is to pay attention to the tone. Emails often lend themselves to more informal language compared to writing by hand, which can mean emailed RSVPs sometimes feel a little rude. When writing your emailed reply, match the tone of the invitation and don't try to be funny or less informal than the invite dictates. Just because you know the marrying couple well doesn't mean you have a license to go off-piste.
Ensure that you have included every piece of information requested, and not left anything critical off, such as, your names! You'd be amazed how many times we've seen RSVP emails without names on, so it's worth mentioning.
As long as you're sure of your availability, don't delay in replying to any wedding invitation. Our rule of thumb is 24 hours. Any later than that and you're likely to forget the invite altogether, and end up being one of those guests who have to be chased way past the deadline!
How to RSVP via Text
The easiest way to RSVP is via an online platform such as ours. But the second easiest has to be via text, as this approach typically allows guests to forget about formality, and reply quickly from their phone. Couples who've chosen to gather RSVPs in this way usually use an SMS app that has been preprogrammed with all their guest information.
These text apps often ask guests a series of short questions, and their replies are what populates the guest list. With this in mind, be careful when typing, and try not to make a mistake, as that may mean complications for the marrying couple, or require you to start the process over.
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How to Respond to RSVP by Post
Responding to a wedding invitation by post is similar to RSVPing by email, in that the style and formality of your reply should match the tone of the invite. If you're lucky, the engaged couple will have provided something for you to simply fill out, called a reply card. These cards typically have pre-filled out responses on them that you just need to add your information to. Your name and whether you're able to attend or not is the standard, but some couples also ask for dietary requirements and meal choices on their cards. Included with your reply card should be a pre-addressed envelope or postage package, making it easy for you to send your response back once completed.
If the wedding invitation you have received does not include a formatted card, you'll be expected to write out your reply by hand or with a word processor. This is when you really need to pay attention to the style of invitation and its wording. For example, if you're invited to a black-tie event, your RSVP should be written in 3rd person. We've put a wording example below to show you.
Sounds weird, we know! But replying in this way just adds that extra level of formality to the whole occasion. Makes it feel even more special. Not every posted RSVP is like this of course, and it's likely yours will be a lot less formal. We've put an example below to show you what a non-black-tie reply should look like.
In a perfect world, we'd be able to attend every wedding without compromise. But unfortunately, life gets in the way. If you can't make the wedding of a loved one, be sure to word your reply thoughtfully, and if possible, give a definitive reason as to why you cannot attend. We've put an informal example below for you.
How to RSVP via Website
Of all the ways to RSVP, wedding websites by far offer the easiest, quickest and most interactive experience. Our RSVP tool is built into our wedding website builder, meaning the soon-to-be newlyweds can involve you in their celebration long before the big day itself. By simply visiting their unique URL, you'll be able to find out the latest news about their event, browse engagement photos and easily ask/answer questions. Following the event, you'll even have somewhere to upload your pictures from the wedding! Perfect for showing the happy couple just how crazy the night really was on table 7!
The actual RSVP process is so straightforward and will take just a couple of minutes. The questions you'll be asked will very much depend on the marrying couple, but the answering system is super easy to use, so you'll have no problem in sharing your information. Once you have filled out the form and have hit submit, the couple inviting you will receive an email letting them know. Which really streamlines the process and avoids waiting around for mail to arrive!
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Tips on How to Fill Out a Wedding RSVP Card
If this is your first time filling out a wedding RSVP card, and you're unsure of the etiquette, we thought we'd share a few valuable tips. Advice that should help you keep on the right side of the marrying couple!
Delays Happen, Communicate if They Do
If you or your partner need more than a week to RSVP, let the couple know. They would rather you're a maybe and that you don't need to be chased for a reply, instead of just not knowing what's going on with you.
Add a Personal Note to Your RSVP Card
RSVP cards are easy to fill in and provide a standardized way of getting information. But they are so impersonal. Add a touch of love to your response by including a handwritten note with your RSVP card. A little something that shares how happy you are for the marrying couple, and your excitement about attending the big day.
Going that one step further will show real thoughtfulness.
Reply as Requested
If you've been asked to send your RSVP card in the post, or by email, be sure to follow the instructions. Don't just decide you're going to text the groom instead, or send a message on Instagram, as your response may get lost. Besides, you've been asked to reply in a certain way, and it's polite to do as instructed.
Be the Best Wedding Guest
If you haven't tied the knot, or planned a large event, it's easy to underestimate the stress it heaps on the shoulders of the hosts. By responding to a wedding invitation in a timely manner, and paying attention to proper etiquette, you are making the planning process that little bit easier for them. It doesn't take much, and we're sure they'll remember your kindness when you plan a big day of your own!
When you are ready to start wedding planning, a great place to begin is with your guest list and RSVP. Feel free to check out our intuitive wedding website builder with built-in online RSVP form, and start dreaming up who'd be on your wedding list! It's completely free to do and there's no sign up required - so what are you waiting for!
Start building your online RSVP card today for free.
Streamline Your Wedding RSVPs
The online Wedding Planning Assistant offers an extensive set of professional tools and an RSVP manager meticulously designed to help you efficiently track and organize your guests' responses, ensuring a smooth and well-coordinated celebration.
We offer an international wedding planner service, open to all. Soon we hope to make our software available in all languages, so far, we have created versions for these languages: